


My fault! It's my fault!

by FireOpal_Tash



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Development, Corruption, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotionally unstable Steven Universe, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Steven Universe Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireOpal_Tash/pseuds/FireOpal_Tash
Summary: Steven runs away, but not to Beach City but to the Garden. Still in the process of corruption and mentally unstable, Steven decides that is better this way.Spinel finds Steven in the Garden after not finding him on Earth. They have a talk.
Relationships: Spinel & Steven Universe
Kudos: 52





	My fault! It's my fault!

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this two to talk with each other. They are so similar that I just... needed this. So here I am xD But also, I wanted to do this for the other fans who also wanted this to happen~ UwU <3  
> If this is a ship or not, it depends on the reader, so not hate please!
> 
> Hope you all like it! And sorry for any mistakes, I'm Spanish ^w^'

When Steven run away from Homeworld he just wanted to be alone, he wanted to feel safe and far from people he could hurt. And that's when he arrived at the least expected place. The Garden. Forgotten and broken. Like Spinel... **_I don't want to think about it._**

This place was far from where he would have wanted to be, but he knew no one would be able to find him. Ever.

And oh, he was feeling so horrible... He was taller, and bigger, reminding him of what he did to Jasper. He could notice the **_pink_** all over him. It was horrifying. It was painful. Steven took off his jacket, feeling trapped.

"I don't want it!" he screamed desperate while trying to control himself "I don't want this. I don't want this power or whatever diamond-thing this is..." he groaned in pain. But he could not control it. Didn't know how. He couldn't get rid of this awful feeling that haunted him.

**_pinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkpinkPINK_ **

"Please..." the hybrid sobbed "just please, stop"

_**PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINK** _

"STOP IT! I'M OKAY! EVERYTHING'S OKAY! I. JUST. NEED. TO STOP IT!!" Steven screamed again. And again. And again. Like a broken record. He needed to stop it and come back home. Everyone must be so worried, **_and so mad with him. Disappointed. Furious_** "No! They are not! They... They would never... The gems love me" _**A monster**_ " No. No. No. Nonononono! I'm not!" _**But I am. I did that to her. I shattered Jasper. And I almost did the same to White**_ "No!" _**I am a monster.**_

"Steven?"

Everything went silent.

Someone he knew was there. Here. With him. "Nononono I'm danger. I'm dangerous. Keep safe. _**Keep them safe**_ " mumbled the young man, not quite aware of what was going on. Nor of who was there.

"Steven!" a pink little gem ran where Steven was. Not sure of what was happening to him. Not sure of what she could do to help "I should have told the Diamonds about this place. I should have made them come with me. Oh, what am I gonna do!?" Spinel was feeling anxious, her hands above Steven, not quiet touching him.

_**PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINK** _

"Steven, come one, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what to do" she said hastily "Let me help ya'!" the heart-shaped gem dropped feeling useless to the ground, her hands into fists, a flip flop in one of her hands held tightly. Shaking "I even got your foot thong thingy!" she replied smiling weakly at the incoherent mumbles of Steven "So please, talk to me" The murmurs stopped.

"...Spinel?" came the raspy voice. Steven was confuse. What was she doing here? She shouldn't be in the garden. It was dangerous. HE was dangerous. But the pain stopped, so it was okay. He was still pink though. _**Remain calm.**_

"Yes. Yes, Steven, it's me. Your best friend Spinel, remember?" her voice was still shaking, still with a big smile on her face and trying (failing) to cheer him up. She looked at Steven's face, or tried to. The hybrid looked away, not wanting to be seen like this. Like a mess. _**And Pink.**_

He didn't want to frighten her.

"I'm okay" he said, more to himself than her "Why are you here?"

"Why...? Steven, everyone's worried about ya'. When you... left Homeworld, the Diamonds and I went to Earth. We thought that you would be there. We wanted to know why you left so suddenly... But your friends, they said ya' never came back. So I'm here. I wasn't sure, really, but you are here" she explained giggling. Kinda nervous. Kinda glad she was right.

"Yes. I'm here, and now you should leave"

"W-what...!? Why?? If I did something bad just tell me!" Spinel had had a bad feeling since the start, and she ignored it. Never again.

"It's not... that. You didn't do anything" he tried to explain.

"I didn't... So that's why. You wanted our help, and I just" tears appeared in her eyes " meesed everything up. I was being stupid again. I should have tried to listen to ya'. I-I should have..."

"Stop! This is not YOUR _**FAULT. IT'S MINE!**_ " the brunette exclaimed. He was losing control. And then he looked her in the face. His eyes were deep pink, his pupils withe diamond-shaped. Snarling.

Spinel screamed.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Spinel" Steven apologised immediately. Nonono. He did it. He scared her. And now she won't even want to be here. _ **I don't want to be alone...** _Steven held his own body, trying to hide himself. Trying to protect himself. His back hurt.

"Steven. I'm okay, see? It's alright. You just surprised me!" Spinel came closer, sitting next to him "I'm still here"

"You shouldn't..." he said, tired "But I don't want to be alone" his voice broke.

"I want to be here with you. You were there for me when I needed, so I will be here for you"

"No, you're wrong" Steven shacked his head "I don't need anyone. People need ME. I only need to help. To be... useful"

"You're so stubborn..." whispered Spinel without thinking.

"I'm n- Maybe I am" the hybrid hold himself even tighter "I'm stubborn. I'm useless. **_I'm a monster_** " he recited.

"Wha'?? Nooo. Of course not! You're... perfect, and kind!" replied the pink gem.

"No, I'm not. You don't even know the horrible things I did." he was getting angry. _**Control yourself.**_

"Then tell me!" Steven kept silent "Steven" nothing "Steven...?" still nothing "Steven!" she tried one last time.

"Ugh! _**Enough!**_ You want to know? Okay, I'll tell you all the bad things I did. I tried to help the gems in little Homeworld and I failed. I tried gardening and I failed again. I decided to do some training with Jasper and I... shattered her!"

"Wh-"

"And I almost shattered White Diamond too! One of your friends now. So yeah, I am a monster! _**My fault! It's my fault!**_ " he finished with a growl. He was feeling that same pain again. And for some reason it was even worse... It was too much. He needed to get rid of that feeling somehow. So, he did what he thought was best. He hit the ground with all his might. _**Bad idea.**_

When Steven looked up again, Spinel was still there. Watching him. Not... scared, exactly, but worried. Her eyes wide open.

"I'm s-"

"Stop apologising" she pleaded "You're not okay. You feel bad. And you did bad things. As I did. I tried to kill you, and your planet. I rejuvenated your friends. All because of the pain I felt. You're not alone, Steven" Spinel was crying again. She, more than anyone, knew what it was like to feel like a monster. "So stop saying that. Because if you are a monster then what am I?" 

"Spinel..." Steven felt guilty. He was supposed to be better... but Spinel made him realised something. Everyone he has ever met made mistakes. He was not perfect. Not even White was perfect. He was... just a kid. He felt like a kid. Even Spinel was a kid, in a way. She never had the time to grow up, like most gems he knew of. Always alone and trapped. Lapis experienced the same and she was okay. She was better now. She had _**him**_ and Peridot. And _**he**_ had a family, and friends. Spinel is also a friend now, he noticed "I need help" the hybrid confessed. His tears falling down on the ground "You're right. I'm not okay and I need help. So, will you help me? I... I think it's time to go home. I miss them..."

"Of course, Steven" the heart-shaped gem replied, relieved. Both stood up and hold each other. With a timid smile, Spinel looked at Steven "You know, now that we are friends I could visit you from time to time" she tried to joke.

"Spinel, you're always welcome to Earth" said the brunette with a small smile.

_**~TheEnd~** _


End file.
